I think I have baking elbow.

Aaaand the first blog casualty has occurred. I started writing one from my phone while running errands and now it’s gone.

You see what happens when you apply yourself? BULL SHIT.

I did not run with Girl Crush this morning. She actually joined a new gym (talk about under-the-wire friendship) and sparred with the trainer yesterday. He fucked her shit up so she was not up for running. I don’t blame her. No big deal! I can always hit up boot camp at 11 am. I get to sleep longer and still get a good workout.

FALSE.

I got a text AT 11 am saying class was cancelled. No big deal. I’ll just run after I get my allergy shots. Or… maybe after I do all that baking I had planned to do today.

Should I workout today?

STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO.

I was completely unaware of how much refrigeration or freezing was going to be involved in the recipes I had planned for today. Even though I’ve read the recipes multiple times. Worst. Food blogger. Ever.

I’ve had 4 recipes planned for this week and actually just added one today. BECAUSE I AM A BAKING MACHINE. Most of the recipes from this week are bittersweet. Not the way they taste… just in my ability to eat them. Or lack thereof. Since they are for Skinny Friend’s going away party, he got to pick whatever the fuck he wanted so he chose three, chocolate/cocoa filled items: Oreo Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes, and Peanut Butter Nutella Swirl Cookies.

“But Andrea, the peanut butter nutella cookies don’t have any chocolate. You can have those, can’t you?”

NO. READ THE NUTELLA INGREDIENTS. Cocoa.

I have almost no faith in my ability to make cookies. About five years ago, I tried making cookies. They spread so much that six cookies became one on a single cookie sheet. They were so thinned that they weren’t any good either so I couldn’t even console myself with this giant cookie. I later learned that I had probably just over-beaten to dough. How the fuck was I supposed to know that was a thing?

On Wednesday, I made the Oreo Stuffed Chocolate Chip Cookies.

oreo stuffed chocolate chip cookies

Husband said if I had used a better knife, they would probably look a little more similar. Shut up, Husband. No one needs your man logic in the land of lady cooking.

I wasn’t actually the one who found this recipe from Becky Bakes. My kickboxing partner, let’s call her Gym Friend, found this one on Pinterest and called me out. I had planned to make them for her birthday in late August but Skinny Friend asked for them sooner. I figured, if anything, it would be a good practice run. They did spread a little, even after refrigerating them for a bit, but they actually turned out quite well! I have a habit of making servings slightly larger than I am supposed to so I rarely make it to whatever the blogger’s serving size is. They are not quite as neat as Becky’s but I took a couple to Gym Friend and Trainer who said they tasted great! I do believe the word Gym Friend used was “heaven.” I guess that means I still owe her some birthday cookies.

Peanut butter nutella swirl cookie dough

No, these are not the leftovers. It all looked like this.

Thursday brought us Peanut Butter Nutella Swirl Cookies by Erica’s Sweet Tooth. The dough was inSANELY crumbly. I was sure I had done something wrong but they also turned out really well too. A second two thumbs up from Husband for the week. I thought these looked closer to the original but… now that I am looking at them side by side,  I can still comfortably call myself a newbie.

Peanut butter and nutella swirl

And then there was Friday…

I had already planned to make the Cake Batter Energy Bars from Chocolate Covered Katie. I think it’s safe to assume I will be making something from Katie’s site anytime I go to the lake. If not for everyone, at least for me. I decided to add the Skinny Snickerdoodles at the last minute.

The Snickerdooedles turned out alright. She recommended chilling them before you bake for a softer cookie. I don’t know if I chilled them for too long but they never really softened up. They stayed in the ball shape and felt more crumbly than soft. More of a cornbread consistency, if you will. I’m calling them Skinny Snickerdoodle bites instead. Because if you fuck something up, pretend it was supposed to be something else.

Skinny snickerdoodle

I feel like there should be at least SOME kind of difference between dough ball and baked cookie bite… let’s just pretend that Katie’s photo is mine.

The easiest recipe (which also required refrigeration) had to be the Cake Batter Energy Bars. All you have to do is mix, form it into a rectangle, and then stick it in the fridge. I didn’t have any cashew butter so I used peanut butter instead which means mine are darker. Less cake battery and more… cake… peanut buttery. I’m not entirely sure how they are energy bars though. There is a fuck ton of honey in it so… sugar high? I had some oat flour left that I had made (oatmeal + processor = SCIENCE) for a previous recipe but didn’t feel like pulling out my processor again so I just used almond flour to fill the gap. It has a powdery consistency too so, it’s CLOSE ENOUGH. Before refrigerating, the consistency reminded me of a basic rice crispy treats before they are molded but this has a finer consistency to it and a much stronger flavor. Quite tasty.

Cake batter energy bars

I don’t want to cut mine until I set them out to eat. Besides, who wants to mess with that kind of perfection?

The last recipe to tackle for the week was the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Cupcakes. I got this recipe from Allrecipes.com. That website is fucking intense. It’s like the mecca of recipe websites. This is the recipe that has seemed most daunting.

My cupcakes don’t tend to be very fluffy, though they still taste good. I didn’t know what the hell to expect; there is supposed to be a cookie dough consistency in the middle! This recipe actually calls for freezing the dough for two hours before you put it into the oven. After waiting TWO HOURS, of course, I put the first batch in for far too short (about half the time called for) because I was busy watching the damn Olympics. DAMN YOU, GRACEFUL GYMNASTS.

But yay Gabby Douglas! You were fantastic and you used “We Speak No Americano” in your last routine. Double win.

Chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakesYou get a pretty good idea of the kind of progress I had with each batch. Husband says you can’t really tell the difference in taste though. AND. I topped them with frosting so you can’t tell by looking at them either. I dare you to try to do it by taste.

If anything, you’ll help me get through them so they don’t get thrown away at the end. Cause these bitches will not be hanging around.

Chocolate chip cookie dough cupcakes

For once, I think mine actually look better. Who puts vanilla frosting on a chocolate chip cookie dough cupcake? STUPID PEOPLE.

So aside from needing to pick up meat and all the fixins for burgers, food for the weekend is looking pretty good!

Baked goods

The chocolates of my labor.

It’s like looking into Skinny Friend’s face and saying, I will destroy you with love and chocolate.

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